Debbie LaChusa

I was at a networking event recently and this young woman came up to me and introduced herself. Using typical networking etiquette, I asked her "So, what do you do?" Well, that turned out to be the wrong question to ask.

She proceeded to tell me all about herself and her business ad-nauseum, never stopping to take a breath much less give me or the other person I had been talking to the chance to say anything. When she finished, she handed me her business card and said, “It was nice meeting you," and she walked away.

I felt like I had just watched a very bad 60-second commercial for her business. And boy was I NOT interested. The sad thing was, she was a massage therapist, and I was an ideal client for her - I get a massage once a month and have for years. Too bad she didn't take the time to find that out. Definitely a missed opportunity for at least a more interesting conversation, and potentially a new client.

Networking.

It's one of those things we know we're supposed to do as a solo-professional or small business owner. Gotta get out and meet people, expand your circle of influence, get new clients, find new partners. For many years I put networking right up there with going to the dentist - necessary but absolutely NOT one of my favorite things to do.

Not only did I feel uncomfortable walking into a room full of strangers and feeling pressure to go up and introduce myself, but I also didn't like much of what I was subjected to while I was there. People I didn't even know shoving business cards in my hand (what am I supposed to do with that?!). People trying to sell me on their services. How do they know if I'm even the right kind of client for them - most don't even take the time to find out. It just always seemed to me that everyone was there for one thing - themselves!

I struggled with this for years, muddling through and networking anyway. Until one day when I realized something. I realized that for the most part I wasn't picking up clients at networking events, I was making friends with other small business owners. I was building relationships with people just like me. And, my business was growing as a result of those relationships. Just not in the direct way I had expected.

I now approach networking with a different attitude and a different expectation. I don't go looking for new clients. I go looking to meet interesting people. I don't go with the intention of collecting lots of business cards that I can use to market to afterwards. I go with the intention of making a few strong connections with like-minded people with whom I can build a long-term, win-win relationship. I'm even starting to network online this way.

And, after one too many networking horror stories, I'm now embracing this "sharp-shooter" approach to networking. And it seems to be embracing me back.

How about you? Have you been accosted by that over-zealous networker? And has it turned you off to this potentially valuable marketing tool?

(length 5:25 minutes)